A couple months ago I was listening to some music and the song “And Now My Lifesong Sings” by Casting Crowns came on. I’m pretty easily inspired by music and have always been (but I’ll save details on that for another time). It got me thinking about a major incident in my life that occurred with our youngest son, Conner, when my wife Mandy was pregnant. I created a video using this music and footage that I took back in 2004 and posted it on YouTube.
You can check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeeWALm9qTI
In short, in terms outside of God and His healing power, our son Conner should not have lived. But for whatever reason, God chose to grant us a miracle by saving his life. When Mandy was in the hospital, I told God everyday that there was nothing I would not give, even my own life, if He would just save my son. And He did. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for Conner and what He did for him, and for us.
But I’ve often wondered since that time, why? Why did God save Conner’s life? Why did God perform this miracle for us? I’ve been getting on YouTube periodically and checking to see how many views Conner’s video has had. Part of the reason we posted it was in hopes that if there were some people that were going through a similar experience with a child, that maybe they could find some hope and encouragement through Conner’s story. I’ve noticed though that for every video that has a story like Conner’s, there is one that is “in memory of” and doesn’t have the same ending that we had. So why us?
It definitely is not something that I deserve. Like all sinners, I really don’t deserve anything that God has given me, much less a wonderfully miraculous gift of a child. I wonder sometimes what I would be telling people about our experience if Conner hadn’t lived. But then I realize the importance of the fact that he did live and the fact that God showed incredible mercy and love to a couple of sinners.
Although I will never really know the full reason why God chose us to receive this gift (that’s for Him to know and me to find out), I can tell people that it DID happen when man said it should NOT have happened. I can tell people that God is real and that He does have mercy on sinners and does love us more than we can ever understand. Again, I know that there are people who would see the story of Conner and say that I would probably have a very different take on things if it had all turned out badly. Maybe so, but it didn’t turn out badly. The fact that I didn’t deserve it makes it even more awesome! And it is pretty cool to have a beautiful little boy that reminds me of that every time I see him. I will continue to share this story for the rest of my life, whenever I get a chance.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” - Romans 5:8
Peace,
Monte
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4 comments:
I checked out the video. Very powerful. Thanks for sharing it with us. I'm going to go home and hug my kids! One thing I don't understand is the perspective of you not deserving it. Why wouldn't you get something good from him? I'm not trying to pick a fight or challenge the experience, I'm just wondering why you would feel that way.
Great question. I definately believe God only gives me good things, and many of them. I've just always struggled with knowing that I don't really deserve anything He's given me. I do believe this was a case of me praying for a miracle and receiving exactly that from God. I've been studying lately on why God answers prayers and how He answers them so the comments are more than welcome.
Thanks for expounding on your feelings. I think I understand better. What do you think about this statement? "Christ died to get what we deserve so that we could get what he deserved"
I think that statement sums up a lot of thoughts regarding the power of the Gospel. Well put.
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