Heaviness of Heart

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel a heaviness of heart? I am not talking about the moments when you feel as if someone you love has been in an accident. I am talking about a melancholy feeling when you just want to sit quietly and contemplate your life. A time when you want to let the busyness of life just melt away and really explore your deepest desires and thoughts. I had one of those moments the other day.

As I went to bed, I said goodnight to my wife and just laid there with the light on. I stared at the wall and tried to be quiet and listen to God. It is not easy for me to not have a quiet mental moment. My mind usually has no problem staying busy thinking about life, school, family, etc, etc. I think I may be an undiagnosed attention deficit disorder. Sometimes I really feel that God wants us to slow down so He can speak. This means that we do not talk, we just need to stop and listen to that still small voice. The voice that says, “you have been shutting me out to long, we need to spend some quality time together.” It is this voice that the mundane nature of each day can so easily squelch.

Why is it that God is the one we push out when life get’s busy? I remember hearing a story about an old theologian who was very busy one day. His secretary was telling him that he did not have time for his usual one hour of prayer that morning due to his busy schedule. He looked at her and said she was right. He was so busy he would have to start his day with TWO hours of prayer.

It is that type of dedication to our Lord that I admire. The kind of “sold out” mentality that our Lord expects of us. It is that kind of life that I want to lead. I don’t want to be the type of Christian that uses God as an ATM, only going to him when I have something I need to get. I want to be the type of Christian that looks to the Lord first for all that I need and all that I have to offer. I want to show God that it is for Him alone that I strive to be the best. I want to show God that He really is important to me and worth my effort. To show God that I know it is He alone that allows me each day with my wife and daughter.

I ask that you join me today in praising God for all He has given us. The beauty of the gospel is not a one time deal. It is something that we need to be mindful of each day. Join me in taking the quiet moments, when your heart feels heavy, and look to the Lord. Slow down and listen to the Creator as He so intimately calls us into relationship with Him.