After You

One of the few tasks around the house that Mandy and I have unofficially decided is handled by me is bath time. I’ll spend about 30 minutes giving the boys their bath, letting them play, and just goofing around in general. At the end of bath time lately, we’ve been playing the guessing game which decides who gets to get out of the tub first. I’ll hold my hand behind my back and they will take turns guessing how many fingers I’m holding up. It is amazing how many times you can explain that they need to pick a number between 1 and 5 and you still get “0”, “8”, “twenty-thirty”, and all kinds of choices. I’m not sure why but Brandon is usually the one that gets it right, although I have to admit that sometimes I change the number so Conner can win.

It was a case like this the other night that brought about an amazing reaction from my 4 year old. I had the number 3 behind my back and after several rounds, neither of them was getting it right. It was late so when Conner said “3”, I changed my hand to 3 fingers, revealed it and declared Conner the winner. Brandon immediately was distressed as he hates to lose and Conner just kind of got a lost look on his face. I told Conner that he had won and he said, “Do it again”. When I asked him why, he said that he liked it when Brandon won and that “Brandon was the best”. I didn’t know what to say or do so I granted him his wish, did it again, and made sure that Brandon won. And Conner was happy with that.

I always felt that as a boy, in general, we were always taught to win, maybe not intentionally, but that was kind of the general rule growing up for boys. You competed and although it was said that it was not whether you win or lose but how you play the game, we all secretly knew that winning was really what matters. It is always interesting to me how many women don’t understand that when we explain it to them but that is just the way it was for boys and probably still is. I think competition can be healthy and bring out the best in us; after all we are competing every day. Sometimes it’s in our jobs to try and get that sale and sometimes on a higher level it is competing against the world and what is being thrown at us.

But, as my 4 year old naturally reminds me, God does not want us to put ourselves first:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:3-4

So it’s not something that is in our nature to want to do but clearly is the way God wants it.

Peace,
Monte